When it rains it pours...

SO I was admitted into the hospital at 1:30am on Thursday May 4th and Released in the afternoon.. They were watching me for Bleeding.. My DR screwed up.. But, I trust her judgment and I am a complicated case.. She's put me on loads of hormones and the bleeding has lessened substantially. I started back on the Coumadin.. We'll see if it starts up again.. I'm tired.. Tired of Hospitals, Tired of Female issues.. In Christ I will find rest.. My Heart knows this, I'm just trying to get my Head to go along..

Hormones rage and I worry about inconveinancing my inlaws, Peg has stayed since Tuesday.. Her health is lacking and yet she's been here.. My family on the other hand.. They have called but haven't visited since I left the hospital.. I got really frustrated today because my dad called and mentioned their was a car show in newburgh and that if he felt up to it he might come down.. Asking if it was close to the antique shops.. SO my step mom could visit those. When I told him that it wasn't.. He pretty much changed his mind.. It's like they take time for car shows or concerts or classes and yet when it comes to family.. I shouldn't be surprised they haven't been active in my siblings offspring unless they had something to do in the area.. I mean we've lived in this house for 2 years and they've visited maybe 5-10 times.. IT's so frustrating.. Oh well, it's the only earthly family I've got..

My church has been amazing a friend from my small group set up for meals to be delivered twice a week through the middle of may... I am amazed at how much this helps.. They really are an amazing group of people and I'm thankful God has blessed me in allowing me to know them.. Well, Ryan actually wants to watch a movie.. So

Peace & Light
G..

who needs sleep

When it comes to late night feedings, what works for one may definitely not work for others. I have come to adapt to 2.5-3hrs of sleep before each feeding.. On the weekends Ryan takes over well.. Ryan needs continous sleep.. We found this out.

Cole doesn't like to get cold.. He really doesn't like it.. HE TOTALLY GETS ANGRY! Ryan was changing him *Prior* to feeding, he had Cole lying on the cold plastic of the changing table.. COLE GOT ANGRY!! Ryan got Angry back.. I intervened and realized this is why GOD made the female the caretaker of children.. I always knew I was calm around children.. I proved it at 2:45 this morning.. I'm going back to bed now..

It's been a Month..

SO, I've been a mom for a month now.. TIME is so fleeting.. I live my life in 3 hour segments and yet It's already FRIDAY?? I have come to realize that I will never be a morning person.. I'm okay with the the getting up in the middle of the night feedings but the 6-7am feeding.. I pray Ryan will do the right thing and feed and change him.. This morning he did warm up the bottle and bring Cole to me.. I don't know that that's what I wanted but hey.. That's better than nothing right.. My small group has been amazing especially Rachel she set it up for my church to bring us meals. At first, I was like I don't really want the people to go out of there way.. Now I realize what a blessing it has been.. We have plenty of food..

Cole is now slightly smiling and I'm able to hold his attention more though his facial expressions sometimes give me a glimpse into the future. As a 13 year old boy rolls his eyes the moment his mom opens her mouth.. I'm not looking forward to this.. He adores music.. WHICH Makes me excited. He favors his Left hand.. Which makes me even more excited. He's going to be a football player and a creative genius.. WOOT.. Okay so I may be dreaming a bit there but one can hope right.. I just hope BJ is up for guitar lessons in a few years.. How young is too young for learing the guitar? He does prefer classical to Sufjan or Eastmountainsouth.. But hey, he's a month old..

My kindred spirit has let me know that she will be staying with us for the summer, I'm excited that she's going to be coming to terms with her family and spending time with her Godson.. Plus, it'll be good bonding time..

Ryan has been busy at work.. He's got a lot on his plate so, I'm trying to give him downtime and not resent him for it.. I now understand the life of a housewife who is unable to drive.. I'm excited to be able to DRIVE and Do more chores and bend over to pick up all the things that I drop... and lift more than a gallon of milk.. 2 weeks.. WOOT.. Oh well I should go wash bottles..

Peace and Light
Gina

Oh yeah if your in the Evansville area.. Check this out.
www.Journey242.com

If at first you don't suceed...

So I mainly just wanted to post more pics.. You can view our entire photo album.

But in regards to the title. I am officially registered for Anatomy and Physiology online starting this summer .. With the okay of my husband I am going to try the nursing profession yet again.. After my hospital experience, I realized I could do this.. So, I'm excited and a little nervous. I really don't want to screw this up.. I've got a child now ya know. GOD's got my back and through him all things are possible. My body is adjusting to sleeping in 3 hour intervals.. I'm doing okay I think.. I'm healing slowly but healing none the less. My coumadin levels seem okay. All is looking up.

Life or something like it.

CHAOS!.. I thought I was used to it. I thought I was okay with it, I was wrong.

On March 26 at 10 pm, Ryan and I entered Deaconess Women's Hospital thinking we were going to have a baby and leave 3 days later. God had other plans. We didn't leave until April 5th around 4pm. In the 11 days I saw new life and almost lost my own.. I realized I could love and be loved more than I ever thought possible. I thanked God for my husband and my son. Yes, Coleman Matthew Dean Ransford was born via emergency C-section at 3:31 pm on March 27th, 2006.

Three days later, they found multiple pulmonary embolists (blood clots in my lungs) and the next day a clot in my left leg. WOOT. Crazy times. I spent 6 days/5 nights in ICU and 3 days/2 nights on 5th floor med/surg. I don't want to be admitted into the hospital again for a long long time.

Ryan showed strength and courage and more love than I thought possible. I realized how much I was like my father in regards to giving up control and not pushing myself. For the first time in my life my memory was fuzzy. To many meds I guess. I'll be on blood thinners for at least the next 6 months. Maybe forever. I don't think that will be the case. I meet with the hematologist on Friday. He'll let me know then..

Peg stayed with us last week.. She really was a great help. Sleep.. We're getting more than most parents probably, Cole was sleeping in 3 hour segments. Now he wants to be awake more.. Plus the fact that I'm unable to really do anything besides care for him. Ryan has really been amazing.. I am so blessed. It's like we have bonded more than I ever thought possible.. GOD is awesome.

I'm now just waiting for the next 3 weeks to be up.. So, I can carry more than a gallon of milk, and hopefully Cole will sleep longer than 3 hours. And I can start walking him in the stroller and firming up. I miss the real world, I miss group and my comrades. Well, I've got bottles to wash/sanitize/make.

Peace & Light
gina

blah double blah

So, it's been close to two months since my last post.. I never really have been good about journals..

I am official full term 37 weeks pregnant. I AM SO OVER IT!! In fact, I think I'm having post partum about still being pregnant if there is such a thing.. I know I have been more emotional as of late. People are continually asking me has the baby come yet, NO. Ryan and I have been bickering more. I've been a lot more sensitive or he's being more of a jhole. I can't tell which. I do know we're both going through a lot right now and I think subconciously realizing how are lives really going to change.. I could barely walk last night.. It took all of my will to move one leg if front of the other, because of pain the way Cole is sitting.. Tuesday was a full moon. I walked the mall 2 hours praying that GOD would allow this child to be born.. Nada. :o( I could barely walk this morning so, I called in. I officially start leave 5 o'clock tomorrow night. SO, I'm going to try all the old wives tales this weekend.. Except for the castor oil.. If you have any helpful hints please leave a comment.

In getting everything ready for the baby, I can say I feel almost like a single.. Ryan hasn't really been an active participant because he doesn't feel it's important. I'm the researcher. Though, he did do the things I was unable to do paint the room, put the crib together, and the play yard.. We were really blessed in being given two baby showers.. We were also given two expensive travel systems. One won't be in until April 4th. I want to be a good steward of these gifts.. Apparently, I've put to much thought and energy in how to be a good steward.. Ryan believes me to be a time wasting deliberator.. Which I will admit bothers me immensley. I will take time to make what I believe to be the right decision and still have buyers remorse.. I know this is annoying. I guess I have a huge fear of making the wrong choice, yet if you are aware of my background this makes perfect sense. Whereas he is definite in his decisions in regards to purchases.. I guess that would be because he doesn't weigh cost vs quality. Time is most important to him. OR that it isn't a big deal.. I am the complete and total opposite. I research consumer reports read hundreds of online reviews talk to people and then choose the most practical option.. It annoys even me. But, that is part of who I am, and you need to accept all aspects of a person.. I can't even remember the point of my rant... I guess I'm just feeling extremely overwhelmed.

Time is Fleeting

Where has the time went. Has it really been 2+ months since my last post.. Wow, Okay well Thanksgiving we went down to Alabama with my mom and sister.. Then the following week we drove back down and picked up my nephew to stay with us through Christmas so that he could heal from surgery. I would not suggest this to a pregnant person w/ no kids during the holidays.. Though, I do miss him. Ryan and I really got a taste of what we're in for.. Needless to say. EXHAUSTION is going to be our flavor of the day I think.. Christmas was surprisingly peaceful.. We were blessed and I'm thankful to have seen our family.. I am now 75% through my pregnancy, I had calculated that I was 90% through, and extremely excited. In speaking with Ryan he informed me that "He loved my but, I've got 25% more to go not 10% and he fell over on the bed laughing at how upset this made me.. I was dumbfounded.. I had somehow calculated 30 out of 40 to be 90.. Bummer.. Not that I am totally miserable.. I am just impatient by nature as well, I'm not dealing to well with the lack of sleep.. I mean, I haven't gotten gestational diabetes, my bloodpressure is perfect and I'm not on bedrest. God is really blessing me.. I need to see that I am truly being blessed in comparison to other women. I'm still working full time at my jorb, and have found finding quality daycare to be a chore.. The current waitlist for infants 1-1.5 years at the place I had chosen.. WELL, that's not going to work.. Ryan says I should just not worry about it and stay home.. I'm wanting to agree with him.. I'll tell the powers that be today at my review, of course once the review has been done.. I've made it to Group and Wed night service.. Sunday mornings aren't my friend as of late.. I'm also knitting successfully and by successfully I mean I haven't quit after the first few rows... We traded to an older car which lowered our insurance/car payment.. We are in a Prepared Child Birth Class. It's every monday so we have it tonight. I was really worried about Ryan watching the videos.. He held up like a champ I was really proud of him.. Well, untill next post. May all of you remember how blessed you are by God's Grace.
OH YEAH JENN KNAPP HAS A NEW ALBUM OUT TOMORROW GO BUY IT!
peace & light

gina

Random Rantings

Okay so last week I let the cat out of the bag with my coworkers. I wanted to wait until I knew it was going to last. Now everyone comes up to me calling me mom mommy mommy to be etc.. I know it's in fun and cute and all but, I'm getting really really annoyed. My name is Gina.. I think I may just be hormonal but that mixed with the fact that this morning Ryan making the comment that I'm not excited or rather embarrassed about being pregnant.. When the fact of the matter is I am TOTALLY Uncomfortable being the center of attention plus all of the changes that going one within me physically. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed I don't like the fuss. I don't know how to deal with that.. So, that's what's going on.. I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.. Yeah, I know.. shouldn't you have done that before getting pregnant.. Yeah but considering my environmental/genetic makeup.. I'm 27 and realizing that's a lot better than some.. Migraines have been coming a lot more often with the pregnancy I used to get about 1 a month now it's like 2-4 a month and I can't take anything other than tylenol. So prayers.. We're heading to Alabama on Wed.. I'm excited to see Mom, Robynne and Trae.. I'm so not excited to experience drama.. I pray God's Peace upon our time down there. Meg is currently taking a class on spiritual warfare. I would so love a class like that.. We haven't really hung out/talked with a whole lot of people lately. We've been in the bubble. Ryan is quite content with that. I am becoming accustomed to it. So I don't know what to think.. All of the tornadoes brought sorrow to our roof so he decided to start leaking we're waiting for an estimate.. Christmas may not be great for everyone else this year.. Better actually get some work accomplished.

gina

God's Got My Back

On Nov 4th we found out we're having a Boy!! I'm definitely praising God for that one.. We've been traveling non stop on the weekends so, I haven't been to NLC for ages. I always intend to go on WED nights but I'll fall asleep or start cooking.. My small group has moved to Fridays.. I knew that would be an issue especially since the holiday season is upon us. Once the little one comes, it won't be a problem. Until then I guess I'll make it when I can. I started my Biblical Ethics class at OCU. I realized I don't know as much of the Word as I should. I'm trying to read more of what I hardly ever read the Old Testament as well I'm really trying to study the Gospels.. I'd like to find a class or something to really study the word.
Ryan is so excited about the pregnancy and the baby.. He truly is amazing. I think he's got me way beat in the excited department.. I'll admit it I am scared. I know once everything happens i'll be okay but for now I'm scared. He thinks I'll be put on bedrest and unfortunately I think he's right. I can't shop or be on feet like I used to. Which is really an incovienance.. We spent the weekend in Louisville, I went down to my brothers on Saturday. I got to spend time with my sister in law and new niece as well as my nephews. It was a lot of fun. Ryan's college buddies we're a good time.. It's interesting to see how people change over the years. We have now known these guys/gals for 10 years. Amazing. Well I should get back to work.

Change is inevitable

Allo All,

I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore.. But, a journal is a journal.. Which as many of you can see. I'm not very good at.. In the past month a lot has happened to the people around me but I don't really feel a lot has happened with me.. That for some reason Really Bothers me.. My closest friend took a walk on the water and GOD is blessing her abundantly.. She is being changed even more, God has changed her like Saul to Paul.. I am so Extremely proud and happy for her. Another friend is finally taking a step of faith and leaving the close cocoon of her family and going after her adventure and her dream.. I am so excited to see the changes that will happen if she allows them.. I saw a couple of friends dive in to marriage and say I do.. I've felt my child move, which is slightly alarming at first.. I've watched my husband almost burst with delight as he sees my belly grow. He wants me to revel in this pregnancy as much as he seems to be.. To be perfectly honest, I'm not a very patient person. I'm just shy of 5 months and I have at least 4 months to go.. I want to meet this little one already. I made the comment women that enjoy being pregnant must be nuts.. And I'm not yet half way through.. 40 weeks I'm at 18. I enjoy sleep, I'm slowly coming to terms that my body is preparing for what's to come.. No sleep. It seems my focus this past month is how to get as much debt paid off in 4-5 months time.. That has been my obsession.. I realize that is not what God would have me do. I'll keep on the budget I'm on and not obsess.. GOD will provide. We are definitely not hurting.. I've just been listening to Dave Ramsey in the afternoons. Well, that definitely has an affect on you.. I'm not saying it's good to be in debt.. That's not good, but my obsessing has taken away from my time with GOD.. Honestly, my time with GOD has seriously been lacking for awhile.. I'm going to take the effort to start to change that.. I read this morning and prayed for a good while.. It was really cleansing.. I realized, I've really been stagnant.. If I'm to be a Christian wife and mother, I really need to commit myself to devotions and really growing in the Lord before I can really be what God has called me to be as a wife and mother. Well, I should get back to chores.


Peace & Light
gina

Strange strange days

Okay,

I know I'm failing miserably at journaling. Life is so getting in the way. IT SHOULDN'T. Since my last post much has changed. On my birthday 8/23 I applied for my passport and found out that yet again Ryan and I are going to be parents. CRAZY stuff. As of today I'm 12 weeks along so I think it's really going to happen. I'm shocked and elated and extremely nervous. Ryan on the other hand is crazy happy, joyous. Which did quite surprise me. My best friend is moving to Denver for 6 months She's attending a missionary you can read her blog. http://knoxiwalla.blogspot.com As well, Lindsey from my small group is attending the Nashville base with her son she leaves sunday. Lots of change is happening I can totally see GOD's hand at work. He really is amazing. I went to group last time and learned a lot had a wonderful time. I hate that I've been missing it lately. EWC/NLC is a different story. I don't know how I feel.. Maybe I should just give it another chance. Actually get involved.

Saturday Ryan and I will be in sunny Mexico. We're going on our first real vacation with no work, since we've been married. We're going here.

I AM SO EXCITED! We got it for WAY CHEAP thorough work. I'll be posting pics.

I know a lot more has happened but, I need to get back to work.

peace and light
gina

Hello Stranger...

Time, It's so fleeting.

It's been 21 days since my last post.. My dilligence is lacking to say the least. I'm so busy or so I say. I need to make journaling and devotions a daily priority A> Because it keeps my sanity and B> Each day I don't I let GOD down and well, I don't want to do that anymore. Mind you I've been doing alot better about the latter just not the journaling part. I put in 16 hour days m-w by thurs I'm bushed. And our weekends have been filled with travel. I just read a book on the life of Francis of Assisi.. WOW.. Work is stressful, but I get to listen to way fm so that makes it bearable. I feel like I'm slowly connecting with my small group..

WOOHOO One small step

Okay so, Last week group was cancelled. SO I went tonight and it was AWESOME!! It was a group 12 people catching up and really getting insight into each others lives the good the bad and the ugly. I learned that forgiveness is definitely the greatest gift. That taking the risk is bigger than being there and I did it. These people are so REAL! They open themselves up and share themselves so freely.. It's awesome. My class at OCU is going really well and I'm really enjoying the instructor. My job is busy.. I really enjoy that though. The day goes by so quickly. I feel like I'm actually being productive. Though, I am dealing with anger issues. It seems the same thing trips me up everyday and I get frustrated and I'll say or think anger. I don't want to be that way. I want my thoughts to be like the Christian radio I'm listening too. That's the best thing about my job. I have my own office so I can play my Jesus music and noone can get angry. WOO HOO and they might just hear something coming in or out. GO JESUS! What's happening with everyone else. I don't feel the need to share. I think I did it at group tonight. My friend Meg has been going through some pretty heavy stuff. Her faith in GOD amazes me she has shown true courage. And I applaud her for it. Ryan is playing some card game on the lappy. So nothing more.

peace and light

gina

BLOGGING=Homework??

SO, LOTS has happened to me since I last blogged.

I started a new class at OCU-EVILLE. And journaling is a requirement.. HA GOD IS GOOD! SO now I don't have an excuse for not blogging weekly if not nightly. I officially started my job today.. I had 2.5 days of training and the owner/manager of the company believes I can handle anything.. HAA if only I had as much faith in myself as everyone else seems too. I'm used to big corporations where you get like 2 weeks of training not a tenth of that especially with the responsibilities that this job entails. I think I'm doing rather well though. In one day I deposited enough money to cover the cost of my house.. I can't fathom that.. And the fact that everything balance made me really happy.. As well, I started back at OCU- I think if I can commit to it. I will enjoy it immensely.. I'm starting to realize that I have huge commitment issues. I knew I did with career choices, but I think I do in relationships as well. I can honestly say that there are 2 people in this world who know me as well if not better than I know myself.. One is my husband and the other is my kindred spirit. And she lives 5+ hours away.. WHICH SUCKS! It's at these times when she's going through something or we get to hang out face to face, or I'm going through stuff. That I'm Mad, I'm mad that I can't be where I still after 2.5 years call home and mad that I don't really want to allow myself to get that close to anyone again. Ryan and I are better than we have ever been, but outside of that my relationships here are superficial at best. I haven't been to my small group in weeks. Partly cause I was going through some stuff, and traveling and partly cause I don't want to leave the comfy cocoon of Ryan, the cats and watching "House" Which by the way is a Great Show.. Tuesdays Fox 8pm cst 9pm eastern.. SO tomorrow. I'm going to Group and I'm going to really really try and allow myself to get in true coinea with these people. I know I have let them down.. and for that I am sad.. It's always the getting started that I suck at in any situation.. Once I'm there/doing I'm fine.. It's the getting there.. yeah GOD ITs Totally YOU!.
I've also decided I want to put off trying for another positive result, untill I've had more positive results with diet and exercise. Ryan is supposedly okay with that.. I find it kind of humorous that this is something I've wanted for 2+ years and now he wants it and I'm wanting to wait.. Figures. So, Ryan has fixedme a wonderful dinner I need to go consume it by 9pm.. Men should ALWAYS Cook for their wives..

peace and light
gina

One Small Step

Good Morning, Well, I got the Jorb.

I start in 1 hour 15 and I really don't have time to blog but I'm going to anyway. I got up a 5 and went to the gym for the first time in awhile. The guy at the front desk. Asked me where I'd been. I simply told him I'm not a morning person. He said he wasn't either but he was there.. This simple truth got me thinking.. How many times have things not been done because of my excuses. Well, I'm going to by the GRACE of God try to not use an excuse as a crutch. As well I listened to the Christian Radio Station while working out.. YEAH, it makes it much more tolerable.. I hope everyone has a blessed day.

Peace and Light.

gina

A New Day Begins

I just got done listening to a streaming sermon from First Christian Church here in Newburgh.. I havent' been to my church in awhile between traveling and not feeling well. SO, I really needed a sermon. and it's funny how GOD leads people to wake them up. Romans Chapter 12 YEAH, It finally sunk in. For Years and I really do mean YEARS I have been focused on "God's Will" for my life. What should I do, what does he want me to do?? ME ME ME.. Well, It's NOT about Me. GOD will show me HIS Will when he wants. I always get caught up in the BIG picture instead of focusing on the little things like making sure to do devotions and pray everyday. If I am truly living and devoting myself to Christ, he will show me his will. I've been really really down lately.. You know the whole "Woe is me" over not feeling as though I'm bringing enough financially and emotionally to my marriage. Ryan and I have been talking and I need a steady job with a steady paycheck. Well 3 jobs have opened up at my current employer.. I applied for one of them and I really want it.. Well, I have an interview today at 3, so if you read this before 3 pm cst. PRAY PRAY PRAY. Pray GOD'S Will. Thanks for reading and thanks for praying.

God Bless,
Gina

The line betweeen happiness and sorrow.

Okay so, I need to get in the habit of posting more. LOTS More.. Much has happened since I've posted last.. I found out we were pregnant on a Monday and we lost it on Thursday night/Friday morning.. It was early on I was only six weeks.. I had only been confirmed pregnant for like 4 days.. Yet, I was totally heartbroken. That's been a week ago.. Ryan's reaction really bugged me at first. He didn't see what the big deal was. So, we'd try again at least we know we could get pregnant. I guess I wanted him to be a little sad. Now looking back I know he was sad for me. He didn't want me to be hurting but at the same token he didn't think I should have been as upset as I was.. So, I dealt with feelings of anger. God love my father he was as upset as I was he couldn't call me until earlier this week.. My father and I are definitely Feelers.. My husband on the other hand he's definitely a Rational. SO, I'm dealing.. I'll admit my GOD time has been lacking.. generally all my relationships have been lacking except for that with Ryan.. He and I have bonded more than I ever thought we could.. I look at him and my heart melts. After 10 years I figure that's phenomial.. I can only imagine what it will be like at 50. I'm trying for a more stable position at work. Wish me luck.. As well, I'm trying the Dave Ramsey way of doing things. We'll see how it goes.. It would be awesome to be totally 100% debt free.. My best friend said I should be journaling so, that's what I'll do, or at least try to do.. As well, I'm not changing colleges as I would.. I'm staying at OCU though I'm not crazy about it. Well, I need to finish work around here.

Peace and Light
gina

A Long time Gone

Okay so, it's been 2 weeks since I've blogged. And a crazy two weeks it has been. A few days after I got home. My sister calls me and tells my mother is leaving her husband. That he as physically abused her.. Now my mother has been physically abused by husbands in her past. This is not something I tolerate and I don't feel that ANY woman or man should either. My mother drives a truck with her husband. He pretty much made her a prisoner on the truck. Checking her messages taking her debit card etc. So, on 3-way with my aunt and my mom, we devise a plan to get her out with her dogs, with him none the wiser. I take my other (Ma)-in-Law. The two of us go up there to get "Wanda" Well, God really opens doors and Mom really feels like she doesn't want to do this but she feels like this is something GOD wants her to do.. I applaud her for the courage. It works out perfectly he suggests going to the movies, he suggests separate movies. We get her out and into my hotel.. He's none the wiser. I should also note that she can barely walk because of torn ligaments in the back of her knee.. She says she hurt it unloading the truck. My sister thinks he pushed her.. I think scratch that KNOW my sister is a drama queen. The only marks my mom had on her were finger bruises where someone grabbed her arm.. I know that's still abuse but I don't want anyone getting a worse idea. SO, mom clears out half of everthing in the bank acct. She says she moving her and my sis up here. MY HOPES are SKY HIGH! I haven't lived in the same town as my mom since I was 10 years old.. She visited my house last year and I didn't know what to think.. I honestly couldn't believe she was here.. So, we rent her a car and she heads to Alabama. Trades her truck for a Brand new Rav 4. Tells my sis she's moving up here. and Robynne freaks. She's not moving north.. SO suddenly Mom isn't moving North. and Suddenly she's staying at her old house and Suddenly her husband is with her and my sister is getting her car fixed by him and supporting there decision to stay together. You know what I DON"T SUPPORT Abusive relationships. I DON'T SUPPORT staying together for Money.. I should also note I DON'T Support staying together FOR the SAKE for the children. notice the Capped letters what's that spell. Children should see Loving parents, not parents that one minute hate each other and the next minute can't live without one another THAT'S NOT HEALTY!

1 Timothy 6:10 (New Living Translation)
10For the love of money is at the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.


That was last week this week it's been all about Ryan and I and LOVE LOVE LOVE.. HE is SO amazing.. We've been together for 10 years and I never thought you could love one another more and you do. I am in total Awe over him.. He supports me totally. Ma, Momma and I had some deep coversation at the hotel.. I had asked them if they had ever been in love so much that it hurt. (not in a sad way) The way you look at them and tears well up in Love.. They said yeah and it was totally scary. I don't think it's scary I think it's how wives should love their husbands. (Though thinking about it, it probably wasn't scary then but they got hurt which makes that dangerous/scary.) If you don't then what's the point.. Why are you wasting time. Ryan just laughs at me and calls me a goof ball, in a loving way of course.

Group was cool this week. Though I always seem to be the center of attention like the one figuring myself out. I had said this and they said all the quiet ones were figuring themselves out as well. I admit I TALK ALOT More than 98.9% of the population I would guess. So, it's really hard to get a word in edgewise. But, I really love group connecting with these people all from different walks of life and yet we all have similar issues it's funny had GOD gets us all together. It's great therapy.. I'm learning that I need to be a bit more like Meg and she needs to be a bit like Me.. HEEE HEEE. Will you still be w/ YWAM @ the end of FEB? ;o) Oh and I got a New car. I know that should be at the top of my list, but I don't know. I'm a Realtor which means I need an automobile that I can transport people and the Air Conditioning works all the time not part of the time and poor Chip the Civic just didn't do that. SO This is what I got. Because of Ryan's WONDERFUL Family we get an Employee discount as well we got lots of rebates. When everything was said and done I got it about 7 1/2k under invoice with only 40 miles.. WOO HOO Love a bargain. I've never had a Brand spankin new car. I wanted a 300 or a pacifica.. But I didn't want the price. So, I got the perfect mix. IT's the sister to the new 300 same car wagon style with the wagoness of the Pacifica. AND It's Not a Mini Van.. THANKS Alan. Okay, I've been typing for a long time. I should get.. IF YOU have made it all the way to the END!! YOU ARE A TROOPER!!!!

luv lots and
God Bless.
Go JESUS

Recap on recent events

So,
I'm back from the land of OZ otherwise known as Vegas. And because my end personality is a J. I'm going to list the things I remember most and hope I see GOD in them.. If not... Well, I'll try Really hard
1.) Jules and Meg bent over laughing at me Picking up Dog Poo in the middle of the intersection at Petsmart. HUMILITY Yep.
2)Dave Matthews playing at the Bellagio Fountains me calling Ryan. Love Yep.
3) MEG GUSHING and I mean GUSHING About BEN.
4) Meg getting frustrated at situations.. and struggling with that.
5)Jules being stressed and tired mainly tired.Trying to laugh it off.6)The lights across the city and the awe inspiring views of the mountains.
7)Starbucks/Krispy Kremes and A man On FIRE for GOD..
8)Julie having an attack over Indian/Japanese Cuisine
9)Realizing that Food is my drug of choice and it's just as bad as drinking/gambling *insert Vice*
10)Ziggy a mutt of a dog that will do whatever you want just to be loved.
11)Bad driving VS Good Driving "Make a Ueey, they're legal in Vegas, I Love this town!"
12)The juxtaposition of rich vs poor. The STRIP with all its Excess in all sins. and a block away a homeless person wanting food, or a mental ill man talking into a jewelry store window.
13)That early morning/ red eye flights are not smart options if your names are Meg & Gina
14) That Grace is a wonderful thing to give to people and Forgiveness is key to true coinea.
15)Praying for Peace in the middle of Rush Hour Traffic..

I made it home safely last night. I think Meg and I's relationship is permanently sealed as Kindred Sprits not just Friends.. I was so Ecstatic to See Ryan and My kitties... I don't think I want to be gone for that long again for awhile. Though he's acting like a cranky old fart right now.. *It's after midnight and he's still working on some character for a game with his college buddies tomorrow* I think he really does appreciate and maybe even adore me, which is a nice realization... The kitties however have yet to really accept the fact that I'm not taking away there dad. I'm actually a part of the family too.

I volunteered at the Rescue Mission tonight I invited a friend of mine and the pastor spoke an awesome message about going deeper. It was cool I met Rachel and Misti from my small group we fed the men. They are so humble in their thankfulness.. RACHEL And MISTI.. OY I was to watch the Gospel of John.... I had work to do after and I totally Forgot/Bailed again.. Dang and I just told Ryan his short term memory Sucked. Humility.. Working on it. Well I will see them tomorrow at the Baby Shower. Okay all in all today has been a day of ups and downs and adjusting to dreary humid weather.. I do like the West.

Peace and light
Gina

Somewhere in the Middle

So, I don't why I will continually have middle child syndrome.. But, I do. 3 women in a 1 bdrm apt.. Interesting to say the least. We have an ENFP and an ESTJ mixed with me and ENFJ.. So, I'm the one trying to think for everybody, Jules is the control freak that needs a plan and Meg is the free spirited control freak. FUNNY!. So, we went to the strip last night. The Bellagio Caesars Paris and Bally's all my old haunts that I knew pretty well. We ate the Hard Rock order the gamblers special $7.77 Steak 3 shrimp veggie salad Bargain! This city is so nuts and Hard Rock looked like mostly people from LA can we say SCARY!! We saw the Gardens and the Chihuly of the Bellagio. His work is amazing. We browsed the shops. Meg went into Dior and Prada. I wanted to go into Tiffany's. We have to come back so Jules can film everything on Monday. So, I'll go then. I'm currently listening to Nichole Nordeman . She is so amazing. Sorry wanna go Ride out bikes.. ADD kicked in..

So today we're heading to the best outlet mall in America. Though I just looked at the pictures on the website. EVERYTHING in this area is Provoctive.. I don't know why I find that so sad.. It's about a half an hour south of us. It's airconditioned. YEAH! Not that it's been that difficult in the heat, it really is dry which makes it less yucky.

I do have a funny story, I've fallen in love with Jules's mutt of a dog. So, I've been the one taking care of him, that includes picking up his droppings. Well, Jules is about to fly him to her son in COLS. So, we took him to Petsmart for shots and health certificate. Well, we get out of the car and are walking across the the pedestrian crossing into the store and he starts dropping.. and dropping and dropping. Now Julie and Meg are bent over in laughter, tears welling down there faces. And because my husband has rubbed off on me WAY MORE than I thought. I had brought an extra doggie trash bag because at the apt complex I had just picked up his mess. HE held it for over a half an hour poor dog. SO, I'm in the middle of the intersection bending over picking up dog doo.. If that isn't funny I don't know what is.. Meg took a picture but of course she handed me the phone to show it, I promptly deleted it. Weight watchers is calling. Sorry no self deprecating humor.. Wait I just told the dog poo story.

Well, I need to do my devotionals..

Peace and Light
Gina