WOOHOO One small step

Okay so, Last week group was cancelled. SO I went tonight and it was AWESOME!! It was a group 12 people catching up and really getting insight into each others lives the good the bad and the ugly. I learned that forgiveness is definitely the greatest gift. That taking the risk is bigger than being there and I did it. These people are so REAL! They open themselves up and share themselves so freely.. It's awesome. My class at OCU is going really well and I'm really enjoying the instructor. My job is busy.. I really enjoy that though. The day goes by so quickly. I feel like I'm actually being productive. Though, I am dealing with anger issues. It seems the same thing trips me up everyday and I get frustrated and I'll say or think anger. I don't want to be that way. I want my thoughts to be like the Christian radio I'm listening too. That's the best thing about my job. I have my own office so I can play my Jesus music and noone can get angry. WOO HOO and they might just hear something coming in or out. GO JESUS! What's happening with everyone else. I don't feel the need to share. I think I did it at group tonight. My friend Meg has been going through some pretty heavy stuff. Her faith in GOD amazes me she has shown true courage. And I applaud her for it. Ryan is playing some card game on the lappy. So nothing more.

peace and light

gina

BLOGGING=Homework??

SO, LOTS has happened to me since I last blogged.

I started a new class at OCU-EVILLE. And journaling is a requirement.. HA GOD IS GOOD! SO now I don't have an excuse for not blogging weekly if not nightly. I officially started my job today.. I had 2.5 days of training and the owner/manager of the company believes I can handle anything.. HAA if only I had as much faith in myself as everyone else seems too. I'm used to big corporations where you get like 2 weeks of training not a tenth of that especially with the responsibilities that this job entails. I think I'm doing rather well though. In one day I deposited enough money to cover the cost of my house.. I can't fathom that.. And the fact that everything balance made me really happy.. As well, I started back at OCU- I think if I can commit to it. I will enjoy it immensely.. I'm starting to realize that I have huge commitment issues. I knew I did with career choices, but I think I do in relationships as well. I can honestly say that there are 2 people in this world who know me as well if not better than I know myself.. One is my husband and the other is my kindred spirit. And she lives 5+ hours away.. WHICH SUCKS! It's at these times when she's going through something or we get to hang out face to face, or I'm going through stuff. That I'm Mad, I'm mad that I can't be where I still after 2.5 years call home and mad that I don't really want to allow myself to get that close to anyone again. Ryan and I are better than we have ever been, but outside of that my relationships here are superficial at best. I haven't been to my small group in weeks. Partly cause I was going through some stuff, and traveling and partly cause I don't want to leave the comfy cocoon of Ryan, the cats and watching "House" Which by the way is a Great Show.. Tuesdays Fox 8pm cst 9pm eastern.. SO tomorrow. I'm going to Group and I'm going to really really try and allow myself to get in true coinea with these people. I know I have let them down.. and for that I am sad.. It's always the getting started that I suck at in any situation.. Once I'm there/doing I'm fine.. It's the getting there.. yeah GOD ITs Totally YOU!.
I've also decided I want to put off trying for another positive result, untill I've had more positive results with diet and exercise. Ryan is supposedly okay with that.. I find it kind of humorous that this is something I've wanted for 2+ years and now he wants it and I'm wanting to wait.. Figures. So, Ryan has fixedme a wonderful dinner I need to go consume it by 9pm.. Men should ALWAYS Cook for their wives..

peace and light
gina

One Small Step

Good Morning, Well, I got the Jorb.

I start in 1 hour 15 and I really don't have time to blog but I'm going to anyway. I got up a 5 and went to the gym for the first time in awhile. The guy at the front desk. Asked me where I'd been. I simply told him I'm not a morning person. He said he wasn't either but he was there.. This simple truth got me thinking.. How many times have things not been done because of my excuses. Well, I'm going to by the GRACE of God try to not use an excuse as a crutch. As well I listened to the Christian Radio Station while working out.. YEAH, it makes it much more tolerable.. I hope everyone has a blessed day.

Peace and Light.

gina

A New Day Begins

I just got done listening to a streaming sermon from First Christian Church here in Newburgh.. I havent' been to my church in awhile between traveling and not feeling well. SO, I really needed a sermon. and it's funny how GOD leads people to wake them up. Romans Chapter 12 YEAH, It finally sunk in. For Years and I really do mean YEARS I have been focused on "God's Will" for my life. What should I do, what does he want me to do?? ME ME ME.. Well, It's NOT about Me. GOD will show me HIS Will when he wants. I always get caught up in the BIG picture instead of focusing on the little things like making sure to do devotions and pray everyday. If I am truly living and devoting myself to Christ, he will show me his will. I've been really really down lately.. You know the whole "Woe is me" over not feeling as though I'm bringing enough financially and emotionally to my marriage. Ryan and I have been talking and I need a steady job with a steady paycheck. Well 3 jobs have opened up at my current employer.. I applied for one of them and I really want it.. Well, I have an interview today at 3, so if you read this before 3 pm cst. PRAY PRAY PRAY. Pray GOD'S Will. Thanks for reading and thanks for praying.

God Bless,
Gina

The line betweeen happiness and sorrow.

Okay so, I need to get in the habit of posting more. LOTS More.. Much has happened since I've posted last.. I found out we were pregnant on a Monday and we lost it on Thursday night/Friday morning.. It was early on I was only six weeks.. I had only been confirmed pregnant for like 4 days.. Yet, I was totally heartbroken. That's been a week ago.. Ryan's reaction really bugged me at first. He didn't see what the big deal was. So, we'd try again at least we know we could get pregnant. I guess I wanted him to be a little sad. Now looking back I know he was sad for me. He didn't want me to be hurting but at the same token he didn't think I should have been as upset as I was.. So, I dealt with feelings of anger. God love my father he was as upset as I was he couldn't call me until earlier this week.. My father and I are definitely Feelers.. My husband on the other hand he's definitely a Rational. SO, I'm dealing.. I'll admit my GOD time has been lacking.. generally all my relationships have been lacking except for that with Ryan.. He and I have bonded more than I ever thought we could.. I look at him and my heart melts. After 10 years I figure that's phenomial.. I can only imagine what it will be like at 50. I'm trying for a more stable position at work. Wish me luck.. As well, I'm trying the Dave Ramsey way of doing things. We'll see how it goes.. It would be awesome to be totally 100% debt free.. My best friend said I should be journaling so, that's what I'll do, or at least try to do.. As well, I'm not changing colleges as I would.. I'm staying at OCU though I'm not crazy about it. Well, I need to finish work around here.

Peace and Light
gina